MY COUNTY-- In a landmark agreement, the county will enact legislation to reduce global warming within the county’s borders.
The county will, as of July 31, expel all cows to a neighboring county. In a related ruling, citizens will no longer be able to import or purchase beans in the county. Citizens returning from dining in other counties will be subject to roadside checkpoints. The price of Peppermint Oil will be lowered by 47%, subsidized by the county government.
County and city officials will be asked to ride bicycles to town meetings.
Citizens will be asked to take their plastic bottles to the county line and chuck them as far as they can into a different county.
