Coming back from Waynesboro this evening, I pulled into a convenience store only to be almost run over by an ambulance...upon seeing him, I waved and expected him to do the same...but noooooo he gave me the head shake.
I know about the head shake, I've used it before to show my disgust with other drivers as they acted/drove like a dumbass.
Now, this is where my common sense leaves my body and is replaced by redneck guy, a guy I like, but sometimes gets me in trouble.
After the amubulance guy parks and gets out he is greeted by redneck guy who says, "hey, what's the deal with the head shake, you could have killed me."
"You mean you didn't see me?" he says.
"What I don't need is your head shake. You were just as at fault as I was, buddy."
Now I don't remember what he said, or how I replied, but my reply ended with "dumbass"
"Excuse me?" he said incredulously.
Redneck man replied, "Yeah, that's right...I said you were a dumbass."
Fine, said he and went back to his ambulance. I walked in the store knowing he was calling the police. With this in mind, I got a Dr. Pepper instead of the 40 ounce Shiltz Malt Liquor I was planning to guzzle on the way home. I also only got $10 in gas hoping for a quick gas and go before the authorities arrived.
I gassed up and backed out as he had me blocked in. He jumped out of the amubulance, waving his arms. I didn't understand why until I saw the police car behind me...and another one in front of me. I then remembered I was in the town RIGHT NEXT to the one Buford Pusser was Sheriff of back in the "Walking Tall" days.
Fortunately, the officer got out the car WITHOUT a baseball bat.
The cops were nice, I was a little excitable. I did admit I called him a dumbass, twice and that it wasn't my fault he was a dumbass and that it wasn't my fault he couldn't drive. And I said all of this in about five seconds.
The officer talked to the ambulance driver then told me this was road rage on both our parts, but in lieu of jail he would just let me go. He was pretty cool about it, even mentioned I could call him a dumbass if I wished and that they came because he called them, but obviously there was no problem. The amubulance driver left and I continued on my way.
In retrospect, I called him a dumbass and then he acted like one and called the cops on me. (I guess his big brother or his old man wasn't available.)
But redneck man needs to keep his dumbass mouth shut.
