From the January 15 2010 Issue of the County Journal...
As I was very carefully crossing the street last Friday, dodging the ice patches, I realized that the good news about the miserable cold is that we’ve finally got this global warming thing licked.
It seems to us, though, that we may have gone too far.
So we have a plan to reverse it back:
- We’re going to stop recycling. The separate plastic bins (creating the need for more plastic) never made sense to us anyway.
- We’re going to ask for plastic bags when we get groceries. We’ll double-bag.
- We’re going to take the muffler off our car.
- We’re going to flush the toilet often and for no reason.
- We’re going to leave the TV on all the time. Same with the lights.
- We will never car pool, instead we will tell our friends to get their own SUV.
- We will wash everything in hot water and ask for fresh towels every day if we go to a hotel.
- We will feed local livestock food from Taco Bell.
- We’re going to take those funny-looking light bulbs back to the store.
- We will take unnecessary airplane flights, we’ll drive when we could walk, and if we have nothing else to do, we’ll just stand in the yard and spray an aerosol can into the sky.
If we all work together, by March we should see some improvement.
Darrell Teubner, Editor
