From the March 18 Issue of The County Journal...
It has been pointed out to us that we have a “lack of crime” on the front page of the County Journal. So here you go:
The Chicago Police Department has issued a warrant for the arrest of Leroy Brown of the South Side of Chicago. Chicago Police consider Mr. Brown the most dangerous man in the entirety of the city, would give King Kong a run for his money were he to travel to New York City, and is considered more vicious (or perhaps meaner) than a junkyard dog.
Mr. Brown was allegedly involved in an altercation a week ago Friday in a south side bar. Mr. Brown and an unknown man were seen rolling on the floor after Mr. Brown allegedly made romantic advances toward the unknown man’s girlfriend, reportedly a nice-looking girl named Doris.
It is known that Mr. Brown emerged from the fight bruised and bloody. The other man’s condition was not known.
Mr. Brown has been under suspicion by the Chicago Police stemming from allegations of illegal gambling (dice games) and carrying a concealed weapon without a permit (a .32 caliber pistol). Also, Mr. Brown is alleged to have a razor in his shoe.
A description of Mr. Brown lists him as 6 feet 4 and is gives two known aliases: “Treetop Lover” and “Sir.”
Mr. Brown is known to like to wear fancy clothes to flaunt his many diamond rings.
The Department of Motor Vehicles lists Mr. Brown the owner of both a Custom-built Lincoln Continental and a Cadillac El Dorado.
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The police also wish you to be on the lookout for Jim Walker. He has been known to frequent pool halls on 42nd Street, where he is considered quite proficient at hustling, according to Willie “Slim” McCoy of Alabama.
While not academically gifted, Jim is described as “stronger than a country hoss” and is called “boss” by his acquaintances, who are also considered dangerous.
If spotted, it has been estimated that attempting to apprehend him alone may be as dangerous as “tugging on Superman’s Cape,” “spitting into the wind,” or “pulling the mask off the ol’ Lone Ranger.” Use caution.
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Finally, there is a report of a shooting in Rosa’s Cantina in El Paso, but the details are unknown, except that a reported love triangle ended in the violent death of a “handsome young stranger.” The alleged shooter is wanted for murder and horse-theft, but is thought to have perished at the hands of 17 or more cowboys while returning to the scene of the crime.
How’s that?
Darrell Teubner, Editor
