Sunday, December 11, 2011

The Neverending Story...

from the April 15, 2010 issue of the County Journal...

Whenever I’m curious about anything, such as, let’s say, the end of the world, I look to Hollywood. This has helped me with many other riveting mysteries, such as How Stella Got Her Groove Back, Who’s Afraid of Virginia Wolf, and When Harry Met Sally.
(I do need to point out that it isn’t perfect. It has not helped a bit with What Women Want.)

But in case you hadn’t heard, there is a movie now that is based on the fact that Mayan Civilization predicted that the earth would cease to exist on December 21, 2012, which means your Christmas shopping that year won’t be necessary.

The reason for this end of the earth prediction is because when the Mayans (for some reason) got together to map out the remainder of history, they only went until 2012. To me, that would seem to be enough…seven hundred or so years ahead, enough to plan birthday parties and ritual sacrifices for many generations to come. But Hollywood and other lunatics say this is a sign that the earth wouldn’t last past that…all because some Mayan guy said, “man, 2012 is enough, I gotta get home before the old lady changes the locks.”

And what really makes it silly (for them) is that the Mayans ceased to exist sometime in the 14th century. Some of the theories given for the Mayan civilization disappearing involved witches/priests, a peasant revolt, and poor environmental policy that involved abuse of land and pulverizing natural resources such as forests, animals, and shoals and/or reefs that could have proved useful. If only Al Gore had been around to try to legislate these guys into eternal life.

But some Hollywood guys apparently just heard about the 2012 deal and came up with their version of the end of the earth just in time for us to go pay $7.50 for the chance to see it and $11.25 for a soda and popcorn to help us pass the time (as if the END OF THE WORLD isn’t enough to hold your attention). But if the movie really is about the end of the world and the world ends at the end of the movie, how does the movie itself end?

So I guess I’ll rent it. On December 22, 2012.

Darrell Teubner, Editor