Headline in yesterday’s Jackson Sun…top headline…front page….
MAN CONVICTED IN TRUCK SLAYING
I’m sure the truck's family is glad to have closure so that they can move on with their lives.
Time now for the Real County Music lyric of the day….real lyrics heard on the real radio station that puts the bread on our table and the beer in our (well, my) mugs
lord this dont look good at all
that's my girl, my whole world
but that ain't my truck
The truck is survived by a Chevy Luv truck, two ATV’s and a minibike.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
The Never Ending Story
The website IMDB dot com lists this as being 94 minutes long. I’ve never seen this movie. Until today, when I looked it up and found it how long it was, I didn’t think I had the time to see it.
Other badly named movies…
Lawrence of Arabia…Not true. He was British.
All About Eve…Not even close. Just a few things about her.
It Happened One Night….Nope. It was fiction.
From Here to Eternity…See above. And by the time people saw the movie, “here” was later.
Modern Times….Not anymore. They TALK in movies now.
12 Angry Men…Not quite. Just 11.
The Last Picture Show…Not quite, although this would have prevented Cheech and Chong from making movies, which may have been worth it.
And finally, Goodfellas. No, they weren’t.
Other badly named movies…
Lawrence of Arabia…Not true. He was British.
All About Eve…Not even close. Just a few things about her.
It Happened One Night….Nope. It was fiction.
From Here to Eternity…See above. And by the time people saw the movie, “here” was later.
Modern Times….Not anymore. They TALK in movies now.
12 Angry Men…Not quite. Just 11.
The Last Picture Show…Not quite, although this would have prevented Cheech and Chong from making movies, which may have been worth it.
And finally, Goodfellas. No, they weren’t.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Rob Roy
1.5 ounces of Scotch
.75 ounce Sweet Vermouth
1 dash Bitters
Stir ingredients with ice, strain into a cocktail glass and serve. Garnish with a cherry.
Now, you would think that this guy Rob Roy MacGregor, a 17th century version of Jack Bauer/Clint Eastwood/John Wayne, must have been quite a tough guy to get both a movie and a drink named after him.
But, then again maybe not. The only other drink I can recall (at the moment) named after anyone is a Shirley Temple.
4 oz Ginger ale
1/2 oz Grenadine syrup
Twist of lemon peel
Thin slice of orange
2 or 3 ice cubes
Stir into a highball glass. Try not to laugh at the guy who ordered it.
Back before we got married, Holli would ask me to order her a Shirley Temple and then get up and go to the bathroom before the waiter came over. I think it was on accident most of the time.
.75 ounce Sweet Vermouth
1 dash Bitters
Stir ingredients with ice, strain into a cocktail glass and serve. Garnish with a cherry.
Now, you would think that this guy Rob Roy MacGregor, a 17th century version of Jack Bauer/Clint Eastwood/John Wayne, must have been quite a tough guy to get both a movie and a drink named after him.
But, then again maybe not. The only other drink I can recall (at the moment) named after anyone is a Shirley Temple.
4 oz Ginger ale
1/2 oz Grenadine syrup
Twist of lemon peel
Thin slice of orange
2 or 3 ice cubes
Stir into a highball glass. Try not to laugh at the guy who ordered it.
Back before we got married, Holli would ask me to order her a Shirley Temple and then get up and go to the bathroom before the waiter came over. I think it was on accident most of the time.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Dirty Harry
Dear Inspector Callahan,
We here at Queer Eye for the Straight Guy are thrilled to hear you want to be on our show and can’t wait to meet you.
We know you will have a great time “hanging” with the guys while they make necessary suggestions in order to help you in areas of revamping your outdated wardrobe, redecorating your hideous apartment and offering much needed advice on grooming, lifestyle, and food. We’ll make you into a man that will be the envy of the department.
Of course, you know that our show is premised on and plays with the stereotypes that gay men are superior in matters of fashion, style, personal grooming, interior design and culture. Even Wikipedia says so. Well, to that stereotype, we say “bring it on!”
We’ll send along the “get acquainted” packet in a few weeks. And although we usually do the show in New York City, we would be happy to come out to Frisco, if you prefer. Just let us know.
Again, from all of us, we just want you to know that you’ve made our day.
Sincerely,
Ted, Kyan, Thom, Carson and Jai
We here at Queer Eye for the Straight Guy are thrilled to hear you want to be on our show and can’t wait to meet you.
We know you will have a great time “hanging” with the guys while they make necessary suggestions in order to help you in areas of revamping your outdated wardrobe, redecorating your hideous apartment and offering much needed advice on grooming, lifestyle, and food. We’ll make you into a man that will be the envy of the department.
Of course, you know that our show is premised on and plays with the stereotypes that gay men are superior in matters of fashion, style, personal grooming, interior design and culture. Even Wikipedia says so. Well, to that stereotype, we say “bring it on!”
We’ll send along the “get acquainted” packet in a few weeks. And although we usually do the show in New York City, we would be happy to come out to Frisco, if you prefer. Just let us know.
Again, from all of us, we just want you to know that you’ve made our day.
Sincerely,
Ted, Kyan, Thom, Carson and Jai
Monday, February 23, 2009
Caddyshack
See note at the bottom...if you can stay awake that long.
The movie ends with a putt that hangs on the edge of the hole, but doesn’t go in for 51 seconds (or so) after it came to rest. When it finally does fall, the resulting “birdie” nets $80,000 for Al Czervik and Ty Webb, but had Lou Loomis (the referee of the match) been up to snuff, Danny Noonan would have ended up working in a lumber yard and Judge Smails and Dr. Beeper would have pocketed the 80 large.
I would think this ignorance of the rules on the part of Lou would have gotten him fired although he got everyone to agree to “waive sanction against said referee or anything that would get me (him) fired” prior to the match. But here’s the text of the rule, straight from the Rules of Golf.
16-2. Ball Overhanging Hole
When any part of the ball overhangs the lip of the hole, the player is allowed enough time to reach the hole without unreasonable delay and an additional ten seconds to determine whether the ball is at rest. If by then the ball has not fallen into the hole, it is deemed to be at rest. If the ball subsequently falls into the hole, the player is deemed to have holed out with his last stroke and must add a penalty stroke to his score for the hole; otherwise, there is no penalty under this Rule.
And back then, ironically, the rules were that if you didn’t do something within ten seconds, it was too late anyway and you got two strokes for your indiscretion.
However, since the match was considered won by Ty and Al and the Judge and the good Doctor failed to “claim the hole” prior to leaving the final green, it’s too late anyway to change the result.
Note: At one point in my pathetically boring existence, I was convinced that this sort of information would make for interesting conversations with my fellow movie viewers. I'm pretty convinced that I was wrong about that, but I guess it was better than me playing the banjo.
The movie ends with a putt that hangs on the edge of the hole, but doesn’t go in for 51 seconds (or so) after it came to rest. When it finally does fall, the resulting “birdie” nets $80,000 for Al Czervik and Ty Webb, but had Lou Loomis (the referee of the match) been up to snuff, Danny Noonan would have ended up working in a lumber yard and Judge Smails and Dr. Beeper would have pocketed the 80 large.
I would think this ignorance of the rules on the part of Lou would have gotten him fired although he got everyone to agree to “waive sanction against said referee or anything that would get me (him) fired” prior to the match. But here’s the text of the rule, straight from the Rules of Golf.
16-2. Ball Overhanging Hole
When any part of the ball overhangs the lip of the hole, the player is allowed enough time to reach the hole without unreasonable delay and an additional ten seconds to determine whether the ball is at rest. If by then the ball has not fallen into the hole, it is deemed to be at rest. If the ball subsequently falls into the hole, the player is deemed to have holed out with his last stroke and must add a penalty stroke to his score for the hole; otherwise, there is no penalty under this Rule.
And back then, ironically, the rules were that if you didn’t do something within ten seconds, it was too late anyway and you got two strokes for your indiscretion.
However, since the match was considered won by Ty and Al and the Judge and the good Doctor failed to “claim the hole” prior to leaving the final green, it’s too late anyway to change the result.
Note: At one point in my pathetically boring existence, I was convinced that this sort of information would make for interesting conversations with my fellow movie viewers. I'm pretty convinced that I was wrong about that, but I guess it was better than me playing the banjo.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Broadcast News
Today the news department at Real Country decided to do the news at noon on location from the city hall.
Things went fine for about 40 seconds, at which time the line went dead. The fact that I was interviewing a state representative was embarrassing enough, but when you add on that he also owns a radio station, (our competitor in town) it made for extra shamefullness.
I got us back on the air for about four or five more minutes, enough to get my guest out of the way and the weather forecast done, but that was about it.
(Now, no one will know about the Revival at the United Pentecostal Church with Brother Price...unless they read this blog)
After my interview ended (and I no longer needed two microphones), I pulled the headphones out and just did the rest of the news on my cell phone. This was the safest thing to do to avoid more problems. But if you think people talking in public look like fools, how about the guy doing the weather forecast into his cell phone?
But just as I was beginning to get used to the stares, the line dropped and the broadcast ended abruptly as the phone hung up. I was in mid-sentence about jobs with the census bureau.
News Flash...Dial Tones Working in Bolivar!
I guess WE were the news of the day…local radio station manned by incompetents. Actually, the reason was a faulty cell phone and not enough bars, but the general public doesn’t know that. Instead we just looked like idiots.
I’m glad it’s Friday.
Things went fine for about 40 seconds, at which time the line went dead. The fact that I was interviewing a state representative was embarrassing enough, but when you add on that he also owns a radio station, (our competitor in town) it made for extra shamefullness.
I got us back on the air for about four or five more minutes, enough to get my guest out of the way and the weather forecast done, but that was about it.
(Now, no one will know about the Revival at the United Pentecostal Church with Brother Price...unless they read this blog)
After my interview ended (and I no longer needed two microphones), I pulled the headphones out and just did the rest of the news on my cell phone. This was the safest thing to do to avoid more problems. But if you think people talking in public look like fools, how about the guy doing the weather forecast into his cell phone?
But just as I was beginning to get used to the stares, the line dropped and the broadcast ended abruptly as the phone hung up. I was in mid-sentence about jobs with the census bureau.
News Flash...Dial Tones Working in Bolivar!
I guess WE were the news of the day…local radio station manned by incompetents. Actually, the reason was a faulty cell phone and not enough bars, but the general public doesn’t know that. Instead we just looked like idiots.
I’m glad it’s Friday.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Peggy Sue Got Married
Another title that tells the story.
Holli and I have been thinking about getting a puppy and it got me thinking how much marriage is like getting a puppy.
In the beginning, everything is cute and even though there are a lot of changes in the daily routine and some extra time needed for pampering, it’s a lot of fun.
House training is a hit or miss proposition for a while. Sometimes there are messes to clean up, but since it is still in the learning stages, it’s okay. Eventually, you learn to communicate with one another.
After a while, though, expectations rise and you figure that it should know what it is doing and be able to understand you.
But with each success and failure, it’s just too cute to get too mad at for long.
(I hear the puppy is a challenge also.)
Holli and I have been thinking about getting a puppy and it got me thinking how much marriage is like getting a puppy.
In the beginning, everything is cute and even though there are a lot of changes in the daily routine and some extra time needed for pampering, it’s a lot of fun.
House training is a hit or miss proposition for a while. Sometimes there are messes to clean up, but since it is still in the learning stages, it’s okay. Eventually, you learn to communicate with one another.
After a while, though, expectations rise and you figure that it should know what it is doing and be able to understand you.
But with each success and failure, it’s just too cute to get too mad at for long.
(I hear the puppy is a challenge also.)
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Raising Arizona
A story of a childless couple that steals a baby from a family with quintuplets, figuring they wouldn’t miss one.
I guess way back in 1987, five kids out of one womb was a lot, but it might not make the news today. And the Arizona family can forget a TV reality show or any time on Good Morning America.
This John and Kate couple with 8 kids (six the same age) have set the standard for exploitation of children and free child care from camera crew members.
They act like they alone have this gargantuan task of raising eight children, but they have free help coming out of the woodwork (in exchange for being semi-famous, I guess). These freeloaders have people coming over to fold and put away their laundry for Pete’s sake.
Also, they do these “behind the scenes interviews” with just the two of them. What are the eight kids doing at this time? Don’t tell me one of the crew from Lifetime or TLC or whatever network is airing them don’t have an intern pulling her hair out in the other room arbitrating an eight-way “MINE!” dispute.
They are not raising eight kids alone. They get free stuff, free vacations, free everything and all they have to do is pretend there isn’t some kind of Truman Show kind of damage being done to their children with the 24/7 coverage of everything.
Because if they really were raising eight kids by themselves, the show would be much different. Without all the freebies and army of volunteers, they would wear the same clothes every day, shower about once a week, eat only off of paper plates, go to the landfill once a day with a truckload of soiled diapers, and swear at people for no reason. Also, bath time would be like the Poseidon Adventure and the father of this crew would have to knock off about three liquor stores a week to be able to pay for it all.
It’s not a reality show. It’s a pack of lies.
I guess way back in 1987, five kids out of one womb was a lot, but it might not make the news today. And the Arizona family can forget a TV reality show or any time on Good Morning America.
This John and Kate couple with 8 kids (six the same age) have set the standard for exploitation of children and free child care from camera crew members.
They act like they alone have this gargantuan task of raising eight children, but they have free help coming out of the woodwork (in exchange for being semi-famous, I guess). These freeloaders have people coming over to fold and put away their laundry for Pete’s sake.
Also, they do these “behind the scenes interviews” with just the two of them. What are the eight kids doing at this time? Don’t tell me one of the crew from Lifetime or TLC or whatever network is airing them don’t have an intern pulling her hair out in the other room arbitrating an eight-way “MINE!” dispute.
They are not raising eight kids alone. They get free stuff, free vacations, free everything and all they have to do is pretend there isn’t some kind of Truman Show kind of damage being done to their children with the 24/7 coverage of everything.
Because if they really were raising eight kids by themselves, the show would be much different. Without all the freebies and army of volunteers, they would wear the same clothes every day, shower about once a week, eat only off of paper plates, go to the landfill once a day with a truckload of soiled diapers, and swear at people for no reason. Also, bath time would be like the Poseidon Adventure and the father of this crew would have to knock off about three liquor stores a week to be able to pay for it all.
It’s not a reality show. It’s a pack of lies.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
The Color Purple
When I was in the golf business in Rock Hill, we had a shoe shine guy who was in this movie. He apparently was in one of the opening scenes throwing rocks. Every once in a while this movie comes on and I try to watch it to see if I can spot him, but I haven’t yet.
It’s time now for the Real County Music Lyric of the day…actual lyrics heard on the actual radio station that pays the bills for the author (and family) of this post.
The Lord knows I'm drinkin'; (the Lord knows I'm drinkin')
And runnin' a- round; (and runnin' around)
And He don't need your loud mouth informin' the town
The Lord knows I'm sinnin'; (the Lord knows I'm sinnin')
And sinnin' ain't right; (and sinnin' ain't right)
But me and the Good Lord's gonna have us a good talk
Later to- night.
Well, yes, that's my bottle and yes, that's my glass
And I see you're eye-ballin', this pretty young lass
It ain't none of your bus'ness, but yes, she's with me
And we don't need no sermon, you self-righteous woman,
Just let us be.
It’s the story of a man who makes Ike Turner look like Santa Claus and a woman whose life would have been vastly different if she had ever been out to the mailbox or stopped by the post office on a regular basis.
It’s time now for the Real County Music Lyric of the day…actual lyrics heard on the actual radio station that pays the bills for the author (and family) of this post.
The Lord knows I'm drinkin'; (the Lord knows I'm drinkin')
And runnin' a- round; (and runnin' around)
And He don't need your loud mouth informin' the town
The Lord knows I'm sinnin'; (the Lord knows I'm sinnin')
And sinnin' ain't right; (and sinnin' ain't right)
But me and the Good Lord's gonna have us a good talk
Later to- night.
Well, yes, that's my bottle and yes, that's my glass
And I see you're eye-ballin', this pretty young lass
It ain't none of your bus'ness, but yes, she's with me
And we don't need no sermon, you self-righteous woman,
Just let us be.
It’s the story of a man who makes Ike Turner look like Santa Claus and a woman whose life would have been vastly different if she had ever been out to the mailbox or stopped by the post office on a regular basis.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Say Anything
I don’t like these kinds of movies about teen angst over girls who just seem to be in a world of their own, far removed from logic or wisdom that is needed to carry them farther than the next half hour.
The guys in these movies are always thoughtful and caring and are played for suckers/losers/crutches/idiots by the girls that they show devotion to through gifts, acts of selflessness and too-long pathetic messages left on answering machines. Meanwhile, Little Miss Airhead is falling for the football player with an IQ of 87 or a future prison inmate.
(Years later, it was explained to me that girls like danger. I drove a 1978 Renault Le Car with a bad alternator and no hi-beam headlights. What could be more dangerous than that?)
Some of the movies (not all of them though), the girls wise up and end up with the nice guy. But by then (as I’m watching it), the damage is done to my psyche, having triggered memories of my teenage years wondering why, for example, Angela went to the prom with the pothead who drove a 1978 Pontiac Trans Am instead of me.
And while I’m over the rejection, it still doesn’t make any sense.
The guys in these movies are always thoughtful and caring and are played for suckers/losers/crutches/idiots by the girls that they show devotion to through gifts, acts of selflessness and too-long pathetic messages left on answering machines. Meanwhile, Little Miss Airhead is falling for the football player with an IQ of 87 or a future prison inmate.
(Years later, it was explained to me that girls like danger. I drove a 1978 Renault Le Car with a bad alternator and no hi-beam headlights. What could be more dangerous than that?)
Some of the movies (not all of them though), the girls wise up and end up with the nice guy. But by then (as I’m watching it), the damage is done to my psyche, having triggered memories of my teenage years wondering why, for example, Angela went to the prom with the pothead who drove a 1978 Pontiac Trans Am instead of me.
And while I’m over the rejection, it still doesn’t make any sense.
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