Recently, a group of golfers from Kentucky were making plans to come to my corner of the universe to play golf. Being that I lived a brief time in Kentucky, I mentioned that I would love to get a bottle or two of Ale81, a regional soft drink that I absolutely loved when I lived there.
The other end of the line was quite interested in making sure my craving was satisfied, so she arranged to mail a case (24 cans) to me as a surprise. And at great expense. I think shipping was $95. It costs 500 pesos at the post office (I had never been there in 4 years) to get it out of customs. The product itself was about 20 bucks. So we are up to about $5 a can. I will enjoy them one at a time and sob softly on the last one.
It reminded me of an import business I joked about with a friend a year or two ago. It would be called “My Favorite Things.”
I would start with (or maybe just hog all for myself) the following things:
JIF Peanut Butter….as I have been reminded many times, I am a Choosy Mother. Crunchy, creamy, I don’t care.
Frank’s Red Hot…the original Buffalo Wing sauce
Welch’s Grape Jelly…for my wife
Brookwood Farms Pork Barbeque…run by a friend of mine, he used to give it to us by the case
Guinness Stout…or any equivalent dark beer. Pilsners rule the day here. It’s a heartless dictatorship. When I go back to the states, I just go to the beer aisle and wander…dreaming of a beer coup and regime change in the land of my employment. So far, it’s just a dream.
David’s Sunflower Seeds…in the shell, of course
Jelly Belly Jelly Beans…Licorice
Cheese Straws…various brands
Ginger Beer…various brands
and of course, Ale81.
I would also open a few restaurants:
Primanti Bros….if you’ve ever been to Pittsburgh, you know
Schlotsky’s…I could eat there every day
Drover’s Inn, West Liberty, WV…the best wings in the world
The Hot Dog Shoppe, East Liverpool, Ohio…I don’t really like hot dogs, but this place…
Skyline Chili…get the 5-way…you won’t be disappointed…
El Vaquero, Southern Pines, NC…the Mexican food here is terrible…who’d have known?
Bon appetite…
