Mr. David Stern
Commissioner, National Basketball Association
New York, NY 00125
Mr. Stern,
Due to a recent order signed Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm prohibiting hiring discrimination based on religion, race, color, national origin, age, sex, sexual orientation, height, weight, marital status, politics, disability or genetic information, I am informing you that my client will report to the Detroit Pistons next Tuesday as their starting power forward.
My client is 6 feet tall and weighs 172 pounds. He will turn 41 next May. However, as you read above, height, weight and age are not to be considered in hiring.
To make room for my client on the roster, I ask that you direct the Pistons to cut Rasheed Wallace, whose 15 points and 7 rebounds each game are largely due to the fact that he is nearly seven-feet tall and weighs about 240 pounds. He obviously benefits from the illegal hiring preferences used by Piston management.
In order to keep with the NBA code of conduct, my client will begin to attempt to father children out of wedlock, purchase an IPOD (for walking into and out of arenas) and get some tattoos on his biceps, if he can find them.
We look forward to working with you.
Sincerely,
Bill W. __________, Esq.
