Friday, October 10, 2008

Nick 'em at night...

I think it would be fun to rob a bank.

First, you have to decide whether you do it at night or during the day.

If you do it at night, you got to figure out how to get in (and get out) and there are all kinds of things to stop you like alarms, guards and the safe. You’d have to make sure you didn’t leave fingerprints or look at the cameras…or maybe you could disable the cameras or pipe cartoons into them or something.

The nighttime thing sounds kind of like when we used to sneak into the gym at night to shoot baskets when I was in high school. It was fun. It may have been more than half the fun.

The “at night” plan also works better in that the bank can (if they don't want to look for you) just keep quiet about losing all that money and blame it on bad sub-prime lending or de-regulation.

If you do it during the day it seems like there are a lot more problems without the fun of crawling inside an air-conditioning vent.

Sure, you get to walk in the front door, but you almost always have to take hostages and that never works out…not even very often in the movies. You have to have weapons and someone might get hurt. This compounds your problems should you get caught or even get away. They tend to look harder for you when someone got hurt.

And the “during the day” plus of using the front door to get in (and hopefully out) doesn’t outweigh the annoyance of having to schedule bathroom breaks, order food for everyone from the hostage negotiator (keeping in mind kosher or vegetarian concerns) or having to choose between the pregnant lady and the man with the heart condition to release in exchange for a bus to the airport or pepperoni on the pizzas.

Also, I don’t want to have to deal with people while I’m working…if I wanted to deal with people, I’d skip the bank robbery and get a job in the golf business or a job selling radio advertising or something.