The "diet" was called a fast
But it wasn't going to last
No sugar, no fried, no dairy, no meat
And no bread to go with nothing to eat
We found day one was easy to do
But only compared with excruciating day two
Day three saw delusions and dreams of a ham
I admit I sprayed my rice cake with butterized Pam
We ate lettuce for day four and day five
And finally realized we might stay alive
But day six changed when we went to the store
And we realized we couldn't take it no more
We changed up the plan with a new goal in our sights
And then I ate a sub sandwich in only four bites
