Wednesday, April 22, 2009

While on the Guantanamo Bay Diet...

I walked up and down the aisles like a crazed person, looking at labels…my head was pounding and I craved, well EVERYTHING, I saw on the shelves.

The labels I read were filled with things that are NOT on the list of approved things to eat, additives, cottonseed oil, etc…and the things I could eat just didn’t fit my deepest gut feeling of what I needed. The deli in the back had the largest pile of fried chicken I had ever smelled.

I had a box of raisins in my hand, but I’m an hour and fifteen minutes from home and have to be on the air doing a baseball game for two hours before that…that means almost four hours before I could get home. Raisins therefore, were not a good idea. I also put back the box of prunes.

I left the store without making a purchase and drove toward the ball field, passing the Dairy Queen, Wendy’s and (this is the one that killed me) the A&W Root Beer stand…I stopped at a convenience store…no luck there…just water and pistachios were on my list. And I’d just heard on the news that someone’s pistachios were tainted or something.

(Normally, I would just buy the pistachios and throw caution to the wind, but I was already nauseous and had a headache…so I wouldn’t know if I gotten a bad batch or not…unless I died and I’m not quite ready to die…not quite)

I hope I feel better tomorrow.