I’m terrified of my wife.
She’s a huge fan of the Blog of Unnecessary Quotation Marks, which pokes fun at people who use quotation marks in inappropriate and incorrect ways.
The problem is I am now afraid to ever use them now. Well, almost. I can use them when recounting dialogue...
Example: “I’ve decided to leave you for a smarter man,” she said with a sneer.
But this is where it ends. Other than this type of usage, I don’t really know what the deal is.
Right now I’m wondering if I should have put the Blog of Unnecessary Quotation Marks in quotation marks in the second paragraph…and also if I should put the Blog of Unnecessary Quotation Marks in this sentence in quotation marks. I just don't know. Are the italics okay?
They never mentioned at Lincoln Elementary School that proper usage of quotation marks is the way to make sure your wife doesn’t think she married a dumbass.
(I'll probably need to edit this post after Holli reads it)
The liberal arts college I went to didn’t cover this either.
She asks me every once in a while if I read the blog today. “No,” I answer, “Didn’t have time.” If I were honest, I’d say, “No, I’m too stupid.”
I'm living a double life.
