A friend emailed the other day to ask it I would watch their dog while they went away on vacation. If you are thinking they should have called, I disagree. I liked the chance to take my time to see if I will be able to clear my busy schedule to go to their house and unlock the door for five minutes. After all, they live almost 10 minutes away.
Anyway, she said that she was going to ask the little boy that lives across their courtyard to do it, but they also wanted to ask me. She added that she would keep beer in the fridge. I am assuming for me, of course. The little boy is a more of a vodka drinker.
I guess it’s pretty desperate for her if her choices are whittled down to a little boy and a man that she feels needs to be bribed by beer in order to help. All her older, sober friends must be busy.
And I guess her impression of me is that I am the kind of guy that normally wouldn’t help anyone unless the promise of booze is involved. This should be one of the ten or so questions to see if you have a problem.
1. “Have you ever missed work because of alcohol?”
2. “Have you ever blacked out because of drinking?”
3. “Do you require alcohol in exchange for small personal favors for good friends?”
And so on…
If the answer to any of these questions is “yes”, or “just get me a beer and leave me alone”, you may be an alcoholic.
After much deliberation and a fifth of Jack Daniels, I emailed her back and told her to get me a key before she leaves but to make sure there is a bottle opener in plain sight.
