Monday, January 14, 2008

...and some pants that go up to my armpits

The bad neighbor contest has a new entry. Yesterday, the people from behind our house started the music at 1:00 pm and didn’t quit until about 7:00 pm or so. But that isn’t the worst part.

Our nanny investigated and found out that two houses were sharing a birthday party. Everyone was invited, some actually to come to the party and some to just listen to the music. Everyone within four blocks, that is. We couldn’t sit in our own living room and talk to one another.

Their music choice was an endless, monotonous bass guitar and drums. I didn’t know the Time-Life Series had “Perpetual Pounding” in a 20 CD set. I thought I was inside a human heart.

I can’t image how they communicated over there. Sign language, I guess. What’s the sign for happy birthday, here’s your hearing aid?

If the CIA ever needs info from me, I suggest this music. I’d spill my guts in 20 seconds. As it was, the six hours of it just drove me insane. But that isn’t the worst part.

We coped by telling ourselves we were better neighbors (more considerate) than they were and by calling the cops every half-hour. But again, that isn’t the worst part.

The worst part is that we are now one of the people on the other side…the people that just want quiet…the people that want soft music and conversation at a party.

We’re like the old lady that wouldn’t let us play ball in her yard.

My youth is officially gone. All I need now is hair plugs and a Convertible.