The guy who lives next door is a self-centered moron and a bad neighbor. I’ve seen him five or six times, out in his yard with a beer in his hand. I have no proof he owns a shirt.
He and his friends (and hookers) partied until all hours last night, playing the stereo so loud we couldn’t watch TV in our own living room. They shot bottle rockets into our yard. They spoke aloud (on their back deck) things you can’t say on television, even HBO. They didn’t stop until early in the AM.
They had the audacity to get mad (and eventually take the phone off the hook) when we repeatedly called them on the phone the next morning about 7 AM and hung up. Who do they think they are?
They got mad when we set their car alarms off at 7:30 AM. They got mad when we poured sugar on their deck so the ants would gather. They really seethed when we sent a taxi to their door at 8 AM.
They hated it when we threw a brick through the window of their house at 8:30 AM and tossed their stereo into the swimming pool at 9 AM.
At 9:30 AM, they were in a snit when the local pizza place showed up with 75 large anchovy pizzas.
And when the police showed up (on an anonymous tip) and arrested them for drug trafficking, they really were hot.
When they get back, I’m sure it will make them mad that someone egged their house, papered their trees, slashed their tires, poured dry concrete into their pool, and burned down their house.
Jerks.
