Friday, January 25, 2008

7 things I won't talk about at length...

Last night at poker I asked the Englishmen at the table what Margaret Thatcher was like.

“Right wing, conservative, b****h” came the quick reply.

Well, two out of three is pretty good.
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I have a dear friend who can’t understand why the tobacco companies don’t make a safe, healthy and non-addictive cigarette.

This seems like a pretty good idea, even better than non-alcoholic beer.
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A lady at the resort complained to me that the dance contest was rigged. How do you rig a dance contest and who would go to the trouble to do it?
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The bird flu is in the country. But have no fear, apparently you can only get it where chickens run around and at cock fights. This rules out 1% of the country, maybe. I saw five chickens this morning and I didn’t leave the resort. None of them had a box of Kleenex, so I think I’m safe.
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A local bar is for sale. The “owner” doesn’t own the property. He has a computer, some speakers for music, a big screen TV, a little TV, glasses and some booze. The buyer would have to continue to rent the building and lease or buy the coolers and refrigerators. He wants to sell the rights to call it “Mi Bar” to someone else for $40,000.
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A guy in Canada wants to set up a reciprocal agreement with us so he can play golf here while he is on his honeymoon. So if we get this worked out, I’ll have a place to play golf in Calgary.
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And finally, you can spot a person that just got off a cruise ship from a mile away.