The first birthday is the toughest. But you can’t skip it.
Five: Schooling begins. Puking at 3 AM brings Ginger Ale and sympathy.
Ten: Double digits. You would think this would matter, but it really doesn’t.
13: Teenager. Acne. Stupid parents. Can’t play little league.
16: Drivers Permit and/or license. Parents still stupid, but have the car keys…diplomacy begins.
18: Voting, military service and being kicked to the curb unless you “grow up” are now possible. Cigarette companies stop telling you not to smoke and start telling you what to smoke.
21: Puking at 3 AM now rooted in legal activity. No longer necessary to drink everything you buy the same night. Guy with fake I.D. no longer needed.
25: You can rent a car. Parents getting smarter. Progress toward undergraduate degree should be chartable or abandoned.
30: Some sort of career path should be apparent. If unmarried, rumors of alternate lifestyle now in play.
35: Eligible to run for President.
40: Career in Professional Baseball, Football or Basketball now out of reach. Senior Golf Tour still in back of mind. Puking at 3 AM now cause for intervention.
41: You get together with friends, drink one or two beers, and are in bed asleep by 10:45.
