Friday, March 13, 2009

Newsies

The once-a-week newspaper came today. The headlines were things we did on the news about three days ago…but in case you missed it…you have a chance to reminisce yet again.

I caught this in the want ads--

Help Wanted: Need live in housekeeper for white widow; must be non-smoker, non-drinker, non-drug user; must have valid drivers license; good driving record; must be able to pick up 30 pounds; must have verifiable character and work references.

It seems to me, if you were all of the above that you wouldn’t need a job…what would you need money for?

In other headlines--

A former pro athlete came and spoke at the local high school. His tale of ballgames, drugs, rehab and subsequent speaking engagements is certainly something to try to emulate.

He told the kids to just say no to drugs and alcohol…unless you were pretty sure you could eventually use the experience to travel around telling your story to high school kids.

What I want to hear about is a guy who didn’t do drugs, didn’t get addicted to vodka martinis and tells his story of nights spent reading in the public library and days of cleaning out gutters for the elderly.

I’m sure there are these kinds of stories out there. But I guess he’s too busy getting his resume together for the live in housekeeper job.

And come to think of it, I didn't have either one of these stories. Scooped again, I guess.