After many years of trying to reconcile our differences, Holli and I have decided to divorce.
Our Reasons:
We relate to each other in unhealthy ways, we’ve grown apart, we’re different people now, we’ve fallen “out” of love, we feel things would be better if we weren’t together, we know we’ll just grow to hate each other if we don’t separate, we have irreconcilable differences, we married for the wrong reasons, and she doesn’t like the same kind of beer I do. God wants me to be happy. We are married on paper, but not in our hearts. I had my fingers crossed when I said I do. I don’t know where it is in the Bible, but it says somewhere in there that I don’t have to put up with this crap anymore.
Our kids:
She can have the kids when they are whining and complaining and I’ll take them when they are happy or asleep. They will be fine without two parents. Plenty of kids don’t have married parents. Since 50% of marriages end in divorce anyway, it will be a good learning situation for at least one of them.
Our stuff:
We’ll sell everything and give it to charity, except for the really important stuff like my golf clubs and the BBQ grill. I'd like to get the TV, but I think she wants it too.
Oh, come on...it's just a joke.
